COMPUTERS ARE STUPID
THEY ARE ONLY AS SMART AS THE PEOPLE WHO TELL THEM WHAT AND HOW TO DO SOMETHING.
| DOS | Disk Operating System | bunch of commands that tell the computer what and how to do something |
| GUI | Graphical User Interface (can you say gooey?) |
Ok, sounds intimidating but all it means is that instead of typing in words to tell the computer what to do, you just click on neat pictures. Windows is a GUI. |
| Operating System | (OS) | can be DOS, Windows, and a few others like Mac, OS/2, Unix - you don't want to know anymore |
| Boot | Like in bootstraps | Bring it up by its bootstraps. Bring the computer to life, start the computer. (Psst... push the on button!) |
| PC | Personal Computer | The beige box in front of you |
| CPU | Central Processing Unit | the brain of a computer |
| HD | Hard Drive, the heart of a computer | storage room for all the garbage you will eventually accumulate |
| Floppy Disk | The smallest storage unit for data | Why? Because it's floppy! (If you open up it's plastic case it is. But then it wouldn't be a floppy disk anymore. It would be regarded as junk) |
| Motherboard | The mother of all boards! | Where you plug in all the neat stuff above |
| Hardware | All the neat junk you buy for it. | Everything you could, but don't want to touch |
| Software | All the programs you buy are software. | That's where the fun starts: games, and all the programs you probably won't need but will want to have anyway |
| Sound Card | HELLO! | You will know that you have one when the computer starts talking back to you. Hmmm.... maybe not such a good idea... |
| Video Card | Can you see me? | Makes the little TV screen work |
| Kb | Kilobyte | Only a true computer geek needs to know this, but suffice to say, it has no relation to a mosquito bite. |
| Mb | Megabyte | Same as above, just different. |
| geek | A person (kind of) | The true computerphile who knows everything about computers upside down and backwards. Then proceeds to spend more time taking it apart and putting it back together than using it to get anything done! (Uh... except for taking it apart and putting it back together) |
| RAM | Random Access Memory | The more you have the faster you get to the fun |
| ROM | Read Only Memory | Not really important for us mere mortals |
| Monitor | No, not the hall monitor. | The TV that isn't TV |
| CD-ROM | Compact Disc Read Only Memory | If they didn't invent it they couldn't come up with bigger and bigger programs. Stores about 600 times more data than a floppy disk |
| Fax Modem | Fax the cheap way! | Your road to the internet and the thing that saves you trip to the next Office Max if you need something faxed |
| Printer | No, not like in calligraphy | If you don't have one you have only half of the computer (if you really want to get something done) |
| Backup | Not you! | What people should but don't do - and what could prevent you getting heart attack if your computer goes on strike |
| Pentium | The type of main brain | Generation of CPU made by Intel. Pretty much standard these days |
| Intel | Intelligent? Nah. | Company that manufactures CPU's |
| Icon | I con if I want to! | Those tiny pictures that you will see all over - your window to the program you want to use |
| Internet | Nothing like a hair net. | The magic that everybody is talking about. It's too complicated to explain here! |
How much cost sucha kinda thing?